It’s so weird…

I’ll tell you what’s weird.

Someone, somewhere, put in the search terms “bunny puppy eating” and came up with this blog. That’s because about a month ago, I wrote about bringing you the “happy news” and opined that I could write about bunnies and puppies.

Now, I know this person typed these words into a search engine because WordPress.com the company that hosts my Blog, allows me to view such information.

I’m just wondering what this person was thinking, or, more to the point, hoping to find, when they typed these particular words into whatever search engine they used.

Like I said — weird.

Speaking of weird, it’s bizarre as hell that Kevin Costner — yes, you read that correctly, the actor/director, Kevin Costner — is going to pull our collective asses out of the fire down in the Gulf, thanks to his ingenious invention — pioneered 15 years ago (I guess, unbeknown to many, Costner’s an environmental entrepreneur) that SEPARATES OIL FROM WATER TO A PURITY LEVEL OF 99 percent. Imagine!!

Read here in the LA Times the fascinating tale behind Costner’s invention.

I watched Costner in a Congressional hearing the other day, and he impressed upon the committee that he had tried in vein to give his invention away to the government, in the wake of the Exxon Valdez, in the wake of Katrina…the government, OUR government said, “No thanks. Not just yet.”

Costner came off passionate, yet soberly rationale. He’s spent $24 million of his own money on this technology — no sponsors, no government handouts.

At the June 17 hearing, BP signaled that it was intending on purchasing a number of Costner’s machines. Read the ABC News blurb here.

Well, that’s not weird, that’s just pragmatic.

Let’s hope that by now, all the i’s have been dotted and the t’s have been crossed, and Costner’s machines are well on their way to the Gulf.

If not, that would just be negligent.

Until next time.

Keep the faith.

–AY

Mind/Body Connection

Before I get into the meat of this post, I wanted to share a find w/ all you coffee-lovers out there.

As the heat soars into the triple digits, and the nights grow longer, many of us iced-coffee lovers find ourselves in a quandary: We crave the taste of creamy iced-coffee after, say, 8 p.m., but don’t want the caffeine.

Well, Starbucks has the answer — and it’s portable too! Starbucks “Via” comes in individual packets, finely ground, that dissolve easily in cold water (in both decaf and caffeinated).

So here’s my “recipe” for a lovely iced coffee drink: Take an 12-oz. glass, and pour the packet in the bottom of the glass; take ice-cold water and pour over coffee (8 oz.). Stir vigorously, making sure you crush all the granules of coffee. Add sweeter of your choice (I like Blue Agave). Add milk or half-and-half if you’re feeling decadent. Add ice. Enjoy!!

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Now, about this mind/body connection.

Although I’m a writer by trade, I’ve always found it difficult to put into words thoughts about my various medical conditions. I suppose I’ve always known it at some level, but it really hit me today, reading Dominique’s wonderful blog, 4WallsAndaView, where she writes so eloquently about living day-to-day with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Why can’t I do that? She’s so in touch with her body and is able to express herself so clearly.

Well, I’ve figured it out: I’ve spent so many years — DECADES — distancing myself from my body, that I’m just now learning to give it the attention it deserves.

Let me explain.

My body started to “fail” me in 1985, when the fibromyalgia hit. The doctors didn’t even have a name for it then, and the ones I saw for this “unexplained” pain basically told me it was all in my head, gave me anti-depressants and sent me on my way. I was in college then, and couldn’t very well afford to see any specialists, so I just continued on my way, in pain, graduated university, and began my career.

In 1989, I was finally properly diagnosed, but the doctors didn’t know much about treating FM, so it was more anti-depressants, and pain pills, along with bizarre alternative treatments that did nothing to resolve my pain issues, and, in fact, usually exacerbated them.

Oh, and, yes, I was also dealing with depression at the same time — not uncommon for someone with chronic pain.

So I learned early on, as a coping mechanism, to distance myself from my body. It was as if my mind was “me” and my body was another entity, failing me at every turn.

Little did I know that one day, my brain would be placed in jeopardy as well.

In 2005, I had a seizure and was rushed to the ER, where, after a wealth of tests, they found four brain lesions. Thank God they weren’t cancerous. But neither are they truly benign. I say this because a team of neurologists, after five years (and another seizure in 2008) STILL can’t tell me WHY those lesions appeared, or what effect they’re having on my system. The best guess, they say, is that they’re caused by some auto-immune disorder. (Oh, what, like fibromyalgia??????)

They can’t tell me, for instance, why I’m getting frequent and persistent migraines that started @ 9 months ago, with no explanation.

Anyway, Dominique’s blog got me to thinking, as did my recent viewing of Dr. Daniel Amen’s program, “Change your brain/Change your body.” on PBS. And what I’ve come to is this: At almost 48, after decades of ignoring the mind/body connection, after years of rejecting my body because I felt it rejected me, it’s time to connect.

This won’t be easy for me; I have many habits to undo, and, just as importantly, many new habits to take up. The task seems daunting, but I’m taking it one step at a time. I didn’t get here in one day; it’ll take awhile to get to where I want to be.

For now, the act of knowing is a step in the right direction.

Until next time.

Keep the faith.

AY

Bits & pieces of life

First, I apologize for taking so long to post another column. This happens sometimes when I’m deep in reporting for a story, as I had been for the Sacramento News & Review these last few weeks, and my head was crowded with the story I was working on.

Unfortunately, I can’t mention it here, at this moment, because we still have two weeks before it publishes, and I don’t want the competition getting hold of it before it comes out, and coming out w/ their own version. Sacramento is a small newspaper town. Rest assured that when it’s published, I’ll post here, along with the supplemental information that I wasn’t able to fit into the orig. story.

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My thoughts turn toward the personal today, as a number of you were kind enough to ask me how things were going with my health.

Like many who live with fibromyalgia, it’s been a mixed bag of late, exacerbated by the hormonal ups & downs of menopause, topped off with still-occurring daily migraines. There are days when I get no sleep for 48 hours straight, which makes all the other symptoms flare up, and then it sends me crashing to the ground.

What this does for my mood is make me, by turns, snarky, teary, confused, and just plain out-of-sorts. More than that, it makes me feel isolated — from colleagues, friends, and family. This is perhaps the worst. On those days, I do just that — isolate — because it’s sort of a protection mechanism — as much for everyone else as for myself.

On my “good” days — when I’ve had sleep, when the pain is at a manageable level — I call a friend. Yesterday, it was Cindy, and obstensibly, it was just to go run a couple errands (my car had died), but it gave us time to be together and lifted my mood considerably.

On another front, I’m still off sugar (since last posting 6/5), and have found an even better sugar substitute that Stevia. It’s organic Blue Agave, made for Trader Joe’s and is a liquid. The friend who turned me onto this was correct — it’s sweeter, and without that “mediciney” aftertaste. A winner! I’ll be going in for new labs @ the second week in July to test my blood sugar to see what difference it has made.

Well, my friends, that’s about it for now.

Until next time.
Keep the faith.
–AY

Increasing your brain size, one + sign at a time

This column is dedicated to Todd Kelly, the most positive person I know.

“TK” — as I dubbed him years ago — is a person who truly strives to be unaffected by other people’s “stuff.” Meaning, he doesn’t let others’ opinions of him change who he is, or dictate his behavior. He often gets accused of being “too positive,” but I believe that’s because most people don’t understand what he’s preaching.

Very simply, Todd presents a zen-like approach to life: lots of exercise, positive reading material, healthy food, being a good dad, & bubble baths.

He asked me the other day, “Am I too positive?” And, unfortunately, I shirked from my reply. For what I wanted to say was, “How can you be too positive? No, my friend, you’re just more positive than I.”

I wouldn’t say I’m a “negative” person…just that I’m often plagued by what Dr. Daniel G. Amen calls “ANTS: Automatic Negative Thoughts.” Those “I can’t because” tapes that pop up automatically whenever we try to make a significant life change. The thoughts that are ingrained in our brains; that have worn a groove in our brain track and threaten our progress at every step.

I see where this comes from clearly: my childhood. And while I won’t go into that here, I will say that it is high time I LET THIS GO, for it is impeding my very health and well-being.

The realization came the other night — early morning, to be exact — when I was up with another bout of insomnia, and watching a PBS special with Dr. Amen, who was discussing his “Change your brain, change your body” book.

At one point, he was talking about sugar, and how it spikes our glucose levels, and actually SHRINKS the brain. I know I don’t want a smaller brain — do you? That got to me, given all the sugar I take in my coffee, hot and iced, throughout the day. (He had something to say about caffeine as well.)

Well, I took it to heart. And, as of last night, I am now OFF SUGAR, and have replaced it with Steevia — a natural sweetner made from the Steevia plant, that provides NO CARBS, & NO GLUCOSE, so no glucosomine (sp) spike in the blood.

I’ve also started supplementing my diet by taking 10,000 iu of Vit. D, as my recent blood work showed me abysmally low on this most important of vitamins — all so important for brain function.

In one month, I will go back to my doctor, to have new blood work drawn, to see how my blood sugar levels and Vit. D levels have changed.

I am excited about these new changes — about doing something good for my health. I’ve been so ill for so long, that it’s difficult to imagine feeling well again, but this gives me hope.

I’m a Prince fan from waaay back, and there’s an old fairly obscure song he has called “Positivity” that I always enjoyed. The chorus: “Positivity — Yes! Have you had your plus sign today? Positivity — Yes! Will they mark you present, or will they mark you late?”

Today, I’m present in my life.

Positivity. Yes.

Until next time.

Keep the faith.

– AY