Mind/Body Connection

Before I get into the meat of this post, I wanted to share a find w/ all you coffee-lovers out there.

As the heat soars into the triple digits, and the nights grow longer, many of us iced-coffee lovers find ourselves in a quandary: We crave the taste of creamy iced-coffee after, say, 8 p.m., but don’t want the caffeine.

Well, Starbucks has the answer — and it’s portable too! Starbucks “Via” comes in individual packets, finely ground, that dissolve easily in cold water (in both decaf and caffeinated).

So here’s my “recipe” for a lovely iced coffee drink: Take an 12-oz. glass, and pour the packet in the bottom of the glass; take ice-cold water and pour over coffee (8 oz.). Stir vigorously, making sure you crush all the granules of coffee. Add sweeter of your choice (I like Blue Agave). Add milk or half-and-half if you’re feeling decadent. Add ice. Enjoy!!

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Now, about this mind/body connection.

Although I’m a writer by trade, I’ve always found it difficult to put into words thoughts about my various medical conditions. I suppose I’ve always known it at some level, but it really hit me today, reading Dominique’s wonderful blog, 4WallsAndaView, where she writes so eloquently about living day-to-day with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Why can’t I do that? She’s so in touch with her body and is able to express herself so clearly.

Well, I’ve figured it out: I’ve spent so many years — DECADES — distancing myself from my body, that I’m just now learning to give it the attention it deserves.

Let me explain.

My body started to “fail” me in 1985, when the fibromyalgia hit. The doctors didn’t even have a name for it then, and the ones I saw for this “unexplained” pain basically told me it was all in my head, gave me anti-depressants and sent me on my way. I was in college then, and couldn’t very well afford to see any specialists, so I just continued on my way, in pain, graduated university, and began my career.

In 1989, I was finally properly diagnosed, but the doctors didn’t know much about treating FM, so it was more anti-depressants, and pain pills, along with bizarre alternative treatments that did nothing to resolve my pain issues, and, in fact, usually exacerbated them.

Oh, and, yes, I was also dealing with depression at the same time — not uncommon for someone with chronic pain.

So I learned early on, as a coping mechanism, to distance myself from my body. It was as if my mind was “me” and my body was another entity, failing me at every turn.

Little did I know that one day, my brain would be placed in jeopardy as well.

In 2005, I had a seizure and was rushed to the ER, where, after a wealth of tests, they found four brain lesions. Thank God they weren’t cancerous. But neither are they truly benign. I say this because a team of neurologists, after five years (and another seizure in 2008) STILL can’t tell me WHY those lesions appeared, or what effect they’re having on my system. The best guess, they say, is that they’re caused by some auto-immune disorder. (Oh, what, like fibromyalgia??????)

They can’t tell me, for instance, why I’m getting frequent and persistent migraines that started @ 9 months ago, with no explanation.

Anyway, Dominique’s blog got me to thinking, as did my recent viewing of Dr. Daniel Amen’s program, “Change your brain/Change your body.” on PBS. And what I’ve come to is this: At almost 48, after decades of ignoring the mind/body connection, after years of rejecting my body because I felt it rejected me, it’s time to connect.

This won’t be easy for me; I have many habits to undo, and, just as importantly, many new habits to take up. The task seems daunting, but I’m taking it one step at a time. I didn’t get here in one day; it’ll take awhile to get to where I want to be.

For now, the act of knowing is a step in the right direction.

Until next time.

Keep the faith.

AY

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